Shadows of nothing
by Running-loose
Summary: One-shot. I won't be angsting over the past. I never will. I'll learn from my mistakes. But you can never escape the trilling chill of the shadowed darkness. And sometimes. You don't want to


First Post. Tell me how it turned out. Because if you say bad things to me the flames would burn up my house and I would end up homeless. ;;

Random thoughts, we've all had those

I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm not afraid of the dark. It was a mantra that I keep in my head. Everything is black or gray and to waste my strength opening my eyes is just fruitless. I'm not afraid of the dark.

I'm not afraid of anything. Really I'm not. But I am afraid of nothing. Something and nothing is different. And I'm afraid of being a nothing. I can't go through my life knowing that I might become a nothing. That wouldn't do at all. I'm not afraid of the dark.

Nothing is something that I am deadly afraid of. Don't tell anyone. Only because they think that I have no fear. They also think that I have no right to be doing what I am doing. But they're not me. They don't have nightmares that one day the name Riku will just be another name. They don't fear that all their accomplishments will be forgotten.

Joining the dark wasn't my best choice. But hero's are more than often forgotten. It's the villains that are more often remembered. Something about going to the dark side spoke to me, coaxing me into their steel claws. But I'm not afraid of the dark.

Sora can become the hero. I once thought that becoming a hero would be cool and exciting. But now I don't think so. Sora can become the hero. I don't mind. Because I know that he will just be another one of the many hero's to come and try to stop the dark. I sound glad that my best friend's accomplishments don't mean that much. I almost am. Almost.

I'm certainly not glad that he didn't manage to grasp my hand and join me in the darkness. Sora joined the light instead. He was naive and childish, the perfect candidate for the Keyblade. The Keyblade that was really intended for me.

Sora would fight to his end to try and protect the light because that's what he thinks is right. I wouldn't be like that. I would find the task of saving people almost boring. I don't have the same heart Sora has.

Kairi is a great person to get along with. But for some reason I don't really like her. She's like that annoying little cousin that comes to visit every few weeks, you know the one you really sometimes find annoying but you know that you care for them deeply anyway.

I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm not afraid of what it might do to my soul. Because I know I will meet every single hero that has every lived in hell. Killing is killing. It's the same in every case. No matter if you are fighting for the good or the evil. Strange that the people who stand at the side looking at the battle going on with wide eyes gets to enter the gate ways of above.

Kami-sama is a very strange god. He takes the strong and makes them into the perfect villains and takes the kindhearted weak and makes them the perfect hero when he knows both of them will end up with blood stained hands.

I didn't want to really leave Destiny Island. But it was something I had to do. I had always felt so trapped when I was there, looking out at the never ending ocean and hoping that there is something on the other side. The island was kind of like my parents home. The place if you stay at you will only be following in your parent's footsteps.

When my mother died she asked one thing of me. She asked me to live a life that was going to be known forever. Be a person that everyone everywhere would know. I love the way she thinks. My mother was the one who taught me how the darkness really works. Mother was not scared of the dark either. She was very fond of it.

I never knew my father. My mother says that only people who never commit sins can enter the gateway above. She also says that my father isn't there up above. And then I knew that my father wasn't a nothing. My mother wasn't a nothing. And I will not be a nothing.

I'm not afraid of the dark.

You might say that you're not afraid of the dark also. But turn off the lights at night and lock yourself in your attic with only yourself. Then you tell me if you can't see the true terrifying horrors of the dark.

I'm not afraid of the dark. I don't like blinding sunlight, unlike Sora. My whole family has pale skin and even though I grew up on a tropical island. That pale complexion stuck with me. I don't like blinding sunlight, not at all. It makes all the simple flaws be brought to people's knowing. The dark gives people a sense that you are perfect. And the only one who knows the flaws is you.

Ever wonder why your shadow looks so much better that you. How it's so much more graceful and beautiful. And you wonder, why can't I be like my shadow, without any sort of flaw.

I pushed myself very hard when I was a child. I knew I had a gift and I knew I could be better that anyone else. I worked at that, every single day. You can see the gap between me and the other kids. I can beat people in dueling five to one. Always have been straight A+ on the report card. No clumsy mistakes in conversation.

For fifteen years they all thought that I was perfect, flawless, better, and unreachable. I loved it. I treasured that feeling and I never wanted to lose that. I guess I was a bit alarmed at how Sora was progressing in dueling. He wasn't half my real talent then but he was learning very fast. I knew he wasn't going to fully catch up with me. I had many years experience and I learn very fast.

But I guess it was suddenly strange to me that my best friend wanted so much to best me. It hit me like a flash of lightning one day that I'm perfect in everyone's eyes except Sora.

He was the only one who saw through me. And he wasn't even trying. I guess he didn't know that he was doing anything significant at all so I made it seem like it was nothing of importance. If I did make it seem like it's important to me would be like saying that someone naive could see through my perfected mask like it is only vapor.

He couldn't see through everything, but he saw through enough to always have my respect.

I guess I'm sometimes unreachable because I make myself so independent and significant in everything I do. But that is a character that you must possess when you are in the dark. Nothing you say can help you, you must know how to say and do.

I said so before I learn fast. I learned that life is just a twisted story that can be altered. That if you don't take it into your own hands then you become another pawn. I was meant to get the Keyblade and save the world. But I instead got caught up in the dark underworld of evil. And you know what. I think I feel freely in the dark than in the light.

I'm not afraid of the dark. But I hate it and love it at the same time. It means so much and it means so little. It can give so much and take the exact same amount to leave you thinking that you might have been a nothing and still have accomplished more.

It's like a cage. When you get shut in you might have a way out. But the steel bars will always come at night to haunt in you when you are most vulnerable.

I remember once when I met Sora in Traverse Town. I was very angry that he could simply replace me with a taking duck and dog. Did he really think that they would be better companions and fighters than I am?

The organization. Hmm I'm not sure how to say my role to them. I think that you can say that I'm one of them, but not completely. I joined because I wanted to fully master the power of the twilight, which uses the power of the darkness and the light. No one has yet to fully master this power. And I wanted to.

I mastered the darkness before they can make a puppet out of me. Sometimes the organization are foolish. They created a replica of me using that crazy resercher using the way I fight.

Lexaeus you did indeed make me very angry didn't you. Rest in pieces, you shouldn't be such a willing pawn in Ansems game

Zexion you tried, in your last hope to defeat me, kind of sad that I had fully mastered the darkness when you attacked.

After I escaped from Kindom Hearts I found out about the path of Twilight thanks to DiZ, isn't it strange that he is partly Ansem? I wonder why so many think of him as the Superior. I'm not afraid of the dark.

I like the facade that I get to keep. When I joined the Organization I realized that even though good and evil are completely different. We are completely the same. We try hard to be a step ahead of the enemy and we fight for what we are. Strange I fight for who I am instead of they are.

I wonder if I'll win this fight.

And how long I'll continue fighting.

Riku

R&R or you will totally crush my young heart


End file.
